How Living in NYC Shapes You:
DBT Skills That Keep You Resilient
Subway stress. Crowded streets. Hot dog stands and sky-high lights. Even higher costs of living. All these things combined with a little glitz and a fast pace of life are synonymous with New York. Living in NYC you’ll be challenged, changed, and championed at every turn, forced to leave your comfort zone or get left behind.
New York City offers a crash course in life that amplifies your personal growth at warp speed—or demonstrates your need. The city will transform you whether you stay for a few years or a lifetime. The secret is learning to harness that power through the lens of the DBT skills that will shape your character and career in ways that endure long after you’ve left the island of Manhattan.
Today, we invite you to take a deep dive into the uniqueness of being a New Yorker—and what it could mean for your mental health journey. The city awaits – are you ready for what it has in store for you?
The hustle and bustle: Developing a high tolerance for stress and chaos
The hustle and bustle of the city that never sleeps will push your tolerance for disorder and distress to the max. You’ll encounter jam-packed subways, sidewalks teeming with people in a rush, the constant noise of traffic and sirens, and a general sense of urgency pulsing through the streets.
At first, the frantic pace and sensory overload can feel jarring and anxiety-provoking. But over time, and with the right DBT skills in your toolset, you build endurance and learn to go with the flow. Through mindfulness, you realize you can tune out the excess stimulation when you need to focus. You find moments of quiet calm even amid the din. You become adept at navigating crowds and handling delays or disruptions in stride.
Living in close quarters with millions of strangers fosters patience, empathy, and (with a little help from DBT) interpersonal effectiveness. You require flexibility in dealing with all types of personalities and consider how your actions might impact others in your building or neighborhood. You learn to adapt, and coping with daily difficulties and interpersonal challenges in a mindful, non-judgmental way strengthens your distress tolerance and emotional regulation—skills that serve you well beyond the city’s borders.
Forging meaningful connections
Finding your tribe in a city of over 8 million people can seem impossible. However, making an effort to forge meaningful connections with others is essential for your well-being and growth in NYC.
Through DBT, you can cultivate your interpersonal effectiveness skills to help you connect with others genuinely and compassionately. Some critical skills include:
- Express interest in learning more about others and validate their experiences. Say things like, “That sounds really interesting. Tell me more about that.”
- Be willing to engage in unplanned social interactions. Strike up a conversation with someone new at a coffee shop or park.
- Observing limits. Pay attention to social cues that the other person may want to end an interaction and respect their boundaries. Wrap up conversations gracefully.
Look for your tribe in places that align with your interests and values. This could be through:
- Interest-based meetups. There are meetups for everything from entrepreneurship to ultimate frisbee in NYC. Pick a few that spark your curiosity.
- Find a cause you care about and volunteer your time. You’ll meet like-minded people and form connections over shared experiences.
- Professional organizations. Join relevant networking groups or mentorship programs in your industry. Developing your professional relationships can lead to new social connections and opportunities.
- Places of worship. If spirituality is important, join a local congregation that shares your faith or values. Forming community bonds in this way can be profoundly meaningful.
The school of hard knocks: Gaining street smarts and learning to adapt
Living in New York City is like enrolling in the school of hard knocks: nothing can fully prepare you for the daily challenges of navigating life in the Big Apple. But facing difficulties head-on provides an education unlike any other, shaping you in ways that soften your edges and strengthen your resolve.
Through the DBT lens, distress tolerance skills become essential tools for adapting to obstacles and setbacks in NYC. Radical acceptance of the chaotic, fast-paced environment and willingness to experience discomfort allow you to build resilience. You quickly learn the art of “going with the flow” when faced with crowds, delays, noise, and unpredictability at every turn. These “street smarts” equip you with the mental toughness to push through difficulties and the competence to navigate complex social interactions.
Practicing DBT in NYC: How to apply skills for personal progress
Living in New York City offers unparalleled opportunities for growth and transformation. The city’s vibrant culture, diverse neighborhoods, and fast-paced lifestyle can strengthen your DBT skills (or help recognize your need for them).
● Practice mindfulness
Take a walk through Central Park and focus your senses. Notice the sounds of street musicians playing, dogs barking, and children laughing. See the mix of modern and historic architecture along Fifth Avenue. Smell the food carts selling everything from hot dogs to gyros. Make it a habit to notice small details whenever you’re out.
● Improve distress tolerance
The subway is breaking down, long lines everywhere, and construction noises at all hours—New York tests your ability to tolerate discomfort. When faced with distressing city situations, use your DBT skills. Take a few deep breaths to stay calm. Remind yourself that the distress is only temporary. If there’s nothing you can do, accept what you can’t change. As maddening as they are, these instances provide opportunities to build resilience.
By facing discomfort head-on, you build skills to better cope with emotional pain and distressing situations. You learn to “urge surf” – riding the waves of urges and painful emotions until they subside.
● Interpersonal effectiveness
Living in close quarters with strangers and a fast pace of life brings interpersonal challenges galore. But it also provides ample opportunities to strengthen relationship skills like assertiveness, conflict resolution, and boundary setting. Constant encounters with diversity foster open-mindedness, cultural sensitivity, and an ability to connect across differences.
● Find your passion
Explore different interests by taking a class on anything from art to Zumba. Check out lectures at The New School or CUNY Graduate Center. With so much to experience, you’re bound to discover new passions and talents. Feed your curiosity and follow your interests. Let the city inspire you to grow in new directions.
The challenges of living in New York can be transformed into unique cultural opportunities if you apply your DBT skills. Use the city as a classroom and embrace all it has to teach you. You’ll develop lifelong abilities that will serve you anywhere. Embracing DBT in NYC will teach you to thrive in a city that never sleeps.
Counseling Near Me: Finding Mental Health Support in NYC
Living in New York City is an unparalleled experience that can profoundly impact your life. The city presents countless challenges and opportunities that can help shape your character. Diversity, culture, and a fast-paced lifestyle are just a few of the things that set New York apart from anywhere else. But this kind of life can push you beyond your limits and compromise your mental health. That’s why it’s crucial to have access to reliable mental health support when needed. Fortunately, Suffolk DBT offers many counseling options to cater to your needs.
Whether you’re seeking therapy for anxiety or depression or need someone to talk to, we are ready to assist you on your journey to emotional wellness. In the fast-paced and sometimes overwhelming environment of New York City, prioritizing your mental well-being is crucial.
The city’s energy is infectious, so let it inspire you to achieve more and become the best version of yourself. Reach out, explore your options, and find a counselor that resonates with you. At Suffolk DBT, we are eager to help you on your path to healing and self-improvement. You deserve to thrive, and New York City is ready to support you every step of the way; call us today to schedule your free consultation!
