Does Living With BPD Feel Impossible?
After being diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, are you feeling lost and overwhelmed? Perhaps you’ve read terrible, frightening things about BPD online, and you feel like the whole world is shaming you for emotions you cannot control. You might be struggling to accept this diagnosis. Or, perhaps it seems to confirm your worst fears, making you wonder if it’s even possible for you to have a happy life.
Have you already gone through a string of misdiagnoses and ineffective treatments? After dealing with so much pain, frustration and crushed hope, you might question the point of trying something new.
At the same time, you might know that you can’t go on with this sense of chaos and emptiness. And, if you have engaged in risky behavior or self-harmed in the past, perhaps you are worried that you could hurt yourself again.
More than anything, you might feel vulnerable and exposed—uncertain of who you are and who you want to be. Are you tired of broken relationships, loneliness and self-hate? Are you searching for a way to understand and manage your emotions? Do you wish you could learn how to cope with BPD and feel accepted for the sensitive person you are?
You Are Not Alone, And You Are Not Broken
“People with BPD are like people with third-degree burns over 90% of their bodies. Lacking emotional skin, they feel agony at the slightest touch or movement.”
—Marsha Linehan, BPD specialist and creator of dialectical behavior therapy (DBT)
It’s not easy to move through the world when you expect pain around every corner. But, if you’ve been diagnosed with BPD, it’s likely you’ve felt vulnerable and rejected for most of your life.
In fact, professionals believe most people who develop BPD are sensitive by nature—predisposed to feel things intensely. Then, they grow up in an environment that invalidates those strong emotions, causing deep confusion and distress.
For example, if you suffered parental abuse or neglect, you likely came to believe that you and your emotions are not important. However, it’s important to note that not all invalidating environments involve abuse. Even the most well-meaning parents, teachers, peers and loved ones can accidentally invalidate emotions through teasing, criticizing or ignoring. In one way or another, you likely received feedback that made you think your emotions are wrong.
In truth, there is nothing wrong with being a sensitive person, and your feelings are nothing to be ashamed of. You deserve the chance to feel heard and seen, just as you are. More importantly, you deserve an opportunity to develop the healthy emotional coping skills you need to live as your best self.
With Borderline Personality Disorder Treatment, You Can Live With Greater Ease
At Suffolk DBT, our team of experienced, skilled therapists welcomes you just as you are. We aren’t here to shame or judge you, or to tell you who you should be. Instead, we draw from a rich supply of therapeutic skills to help you feel better. With empathetic guidance and expert support, you can find recovery and relief.
As our practice name suggests, we specialize in dialectical behavior therapy, which is the gold standard of treatment for individuals struggling with BPD. It is extremely effective, in part, because its goal is not to squash or shame your emotions. Instead, your therapist works to help you both recognize and accept your feelings, just as they show up.
Then, from that place of acceptance and self-compassion, you can learn new ways to manage and respond to even the most difficult emotions. This opens the door for self-empowerment and positive change.
BPD therapy involves both group and individual sessions. In a safe, supportive group of people who can share and understand your experience, you get the unique opportunity to learn and practice new coping skills. Here, you can practice mindful, nonjudgmental awareness of the present moment and increase your ability to tolerate distress in moments of pain.
You can also learn how to shift your perspective and understand that your emotions don’t have to control you. In fact, you are capable of changing them and calming yourself down. You can also learn to challenge the black and white thinking that may make people and things seem wonderful or terrible, with no middle ground. Instead, you can learn to accept people and ideas in a broader, more forgiving way.
As you start to develop a new relationship with your feelings, you can also develop new relationships with the people around you. Borderline personality disorder treatment can teach you how to advocate for your needs while respecting the needs of others. You can begin to express how you feel with new honesty and confidence that you have the words to communicate and connect with your loved ones. And, most importantly, you can foster a deep, more compassionate connection with yourself.
In addition to group therapy, individual dialectical behavior therapy sessions offer a great deal of personalized support. Your therapist will invite you to talk about current challenges, especially those related to your mood, behaviors, relationships, thoughts and urges. By talking through these issues, you can start to pinpoint patterns and plan more effective ways to navigate challenges in the future.
Your therapist will also offer between-session phone coaching. When you are feeling distressed and stuck, you can reach out to your therapist and get the support you need to apply your new skills in the present moment.
Altogether, this specialized BPD treatment program is specifically designed to help you enjoy a better quality of life. It is possible to both embrace your sensitivity and celebrate new resilience. It is possible to be kinder to yourself.
You may have questions or concerns about therapy for borderline personality disorder…
I’ve already been through so many diagnoses and treatments. How do I know this will help?
BPD is a widely misunderstood disorder, even among mental health professionals. If you’ve been misdiagnosed and subjected to treatments that only made you feel worse, DBT might seem like the last resort. We understand how frustrating and frightening this can feel.
Still, we strongly encourage you to give DBT a chance. This is widely regarded as the best treatment for BPD, and we are confident that you will have a different experience. You can learn how to manage your emotions and build better relationships. You can learn to create a better life.
I’ve self-harmed in the past. If I’m honest with you about that, will you send me to the hospital?
No. At Suffolk DBT, our goal is to prevent future hospitalization. To do this, we focus on understanding the self-harming behavior and its function in your life.
Many people don’t self-harm because they want to die—in reality, they want to find relief. But, when you don’t know other ways to express and manage painful emotions, self-harm can feel like the only option.
During DBT, you can discover new ways to find the relief you’re longing for. For example, we can help you realize that even the most overwhelming feelings have a beginning, middle and an end. You can learn how to tolerate distress and soothe yourself until the painful moments pass.
You’ll just say you can’t help me.
Here, you don’t have to fear judgment or abandonment. We know that can be hard to believe, especially if you’ve been hurt by mental health professionals in the past.
The truth is, DBT requires commitment. We are fully committed to your wellbeing. If you are equally committed, then this treatment can absolutely help. With your therapist by your side, you can move into a lighter, more peaceful life.
You Deserve Relief And Connection
Borderline personality disorder treatment can help you navigate your world. If you are ready to try something new, we are ready to help. If you are seeking a therapist in Long Island, call us at (631) 828-2264 and schedule an appointment today.