There is a Beginning, Middle, and End to Every Emotion
By Jeanette Lorandini
Understanding Your Emotions with Suffolk DBT
I share a common understanding with the people I help. I know what it feels like to be born sensitive. Many share with me that it feels like a curse to be emotional and that they feel misunderstood in the world. I say that it can be considered to be both a blessing and a curse. In DBT we talk about acceptance and change. As therapists, we are constantly dancing in the light of helping our clients feel accepted for being emotional and to help them adapt to make the best of such a gift. I know that there are times it feels like the sadness never passes, that happiness is short-lived, and anger is ever-present. I would like to say that emotions change….. in the middle of hopelessness remember that even that will end. No emotion lasts forever.
In DBT skills group we learn about emotion regulation and what to do with what we feel. Three themes in emotion regulation are:
1) Naming and labeling emotions
2) Reducing Vulnerability
3) Decreasing emotional suffering
Naming and Labeling Emotion
Being able to identify what an emotion feels like inside of us, what it looks like to others that are observing/interacting with us, and whether the emotion is a primary emotion or secondary. Our emotions are valid and real… it does not mean that acting on them is effective.
Reducing Vulnerability by the Please Master Skills.
Treat Physical Illness
Avoid Mood-Altering Drugs
Decrease Emotional Suffering
1) Mindfully accepting the emotion
2) Changing the emotion with opposite action coping skills
In the following video, George Costanza from Seinfeld does a funny version of opposite action.
Learning how to be an emotional person does not have to feel like a curse. DBT is an amazing, positive, treatment that can teach you the blessings of being you. For more information on how we can help, fill out our contact form or call Suffolk DBT at (631) 828-2264.
Suffolk DBT proudly provides quality dialectical behavior therapy, a form of cognitive behavioral therapy, at their offices in Manhattan and Long Island, New York and online. Their experienced therapists specialize in serving teens, children, adults, and college students struggling with depression, borderline personality disorder, eating disorders, and self-harm. Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) skills and treatment can help you or your kids to manage emotions and work through life’s challenges. Suffolk DBT Manhattan and Long Island offer a free screening call so you can get started right away.