As you take the brave step to start therapy, you probably recognize there are some thought and behavior patterns you want to change, though you may feel lost on where to start. Your individual and group therapists can help you figure out how to change these patterns, but an important first step is to fully understand what you’re experiencing and what is triggering these experiences.
DBT diary cards help you and your therapist to understand what you’re going through
While you may be able to remember some of your past thoughts, feelings, and behaviors when you attend therapy, it’s easy to forget the moment-to-moment emotional changes and the fleeting thoughts that run through your head throughout the week. But these emotions and thoughts can be the key to understanding what you’re going through!
The dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) diary card helps you keep track of feelings and behaviors that cause you suffering throughout the week. These cards give crucial insight into what you’re experiencing day-to-day, helping you and your therapist to reflect on patterns, triggers, sudden changes, and successes as you use DBT skills to handle life’s challenges.
How do DBT diary cards work?
Throughout the week, you’ll use your diary card to track:
- Strong emotions
- Behaviors and urges that result from those emotions
- The DBT skills you use to handle the emotions/urges
- What was happening before and after the strong emotion
You’ll bring your card to your next individual therapy session, and you and your therapist will review it together. You’ll start with reviewing the most severe behavior challenges, like life-threatening behavior, then on to therapy-interfering behaviors, and finally, moving on to lower quality-of-life behaviors.
Your therapist will help you recognize behavior chains that trigger urges and behaviors that are increasing your suffering, and you’ll plan together how you’ll use DBT skills to handle situations next time they happen.
How do DBT diary cards help you?
Diary cards support accountability without shame
A big reason people seek out DBT is because of intense emotions, urges, and behaviors that lead to shame. Shame, or the feeling that there’s something inherently wrong with who you are as a person, makes it hard to feel safe being accountable.
- When you think, feel, do, or say something that you judge as “bad”, you can become flooded with shame, escalating your emotions even further.
- You don’t want to be “bad”, so you may minimize, argue, stretch the truth, or deny what’s happening, the opposite of accountability.
DBT diary cards help you learn how to acknowledge your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors truthfully, without judging yourself. There’s no “and this thought or behavior means I am ______ kind of person,” section in the diary card. You’re writing down the facts of the moment to help you understand yourself, so you can make choices based on who you want to be.
No judgment doesn’t mean no responsibility. Letting go of judgment helps you:
- Honestly acknowledge in your diary card what’s happening instead of getting sucked into a shame spiral.
- Honestly recognize what you want to change, then work on making those changes, leading you to take accountability in an empowering way.
DBT helps you and your therapist with behavior chain analysis
DBT diary cards help you see patterns you might otherwise miss. The links in the behavior chain include:
- Your vulnerability (like emotional sensitivity or specific traumas)
- The prompting event
- Links (like thoughts, urges, etc.)
- Problem behavior
- Consequences
Without tracking your experiences, you might struggle to see regular patterns, like:
- You have a hard time having emotional conversations without time to mentally prepare
- You get very stressed at work and start to feel like a failure when you haven’t slept well.
You and your therapist will start to see the chains of cause and effect for strong emotions and disruptive behaviors. Your therapist will work with you to analyze your behavior chains, helping you choose DBT skills to use next time the pattern emerges.
With the insights gained by your diary cards, your therapist might suggest you use the ABC PLEASE skill to prioritize sleep and health so work doesn’t feel so stressful. Or they might encourage you to set boundaries around intense personal conversations where you ask for time to prepare, then use the Cope Ahead skill to envision an effective conversation (even if it’s emotionally difficult).
DBT diary cards help you name your emotions, making emotional regulation easier
Emotional regulation is a main pillar of DBT, alongside mindfulness, distress tolerance, and interpersonal effectiveness. One key feature of emotional regulation is the ability to recognize and name the feelings you’re experiencing.
Your diary card asks you to regularly reflect on the emotion you’re experiencing, and to give it a name. This practice develops your self-awareness, empowering you through understanding to choose your responses to your emotions, instead of just reacting without thinking.
Diary cards help with DBT skill tracking
When you’re learning new DBT skills and using them in your daily life, it’s not always easy to see how much they’re helping.
- Successes may be hard to acknowledge, especially if perfectionism and negative self-beliefs make it hard for you to recognize your accomplishments.
- Success can also be subtle; when you’re using DBT skills, you’re less likely to have your life disrupted by emotional overwhelm. Less disruption means more calm, which isn’t as noticeable.
DBT diary cards help you see how you’re learning and growing over time. It can feel really satisfying to use DBT skill tracking to see your progress, moving from extreme disruptions and emotional overwhelm to handling hard moments with constructive, effective strategies.
Diary cards also show you:
- Which DBT skills work best for you in certain situations
- Which skills do you reach for the most
- Which skills you aren’t as sure about
Your diary card can help you remember to ask your therapist for more opportunities to learn and practice DBT skills you aren’t so sure about, supporting your success through focused therapy sessions.
How does Suffolk DBT use DBT diary cards for better therapy outcomes?
Diary cards are a key component of individual therapy success at Suffolk DBT, giving you and your therapist crucial insights into your daily experiences. Suffolk DBT uses diary cards as part of comprehensive individual DBT therapy, alongside group therapy and on-call therapist support.
We’ve seen firsthand how DBT diary cards lead to better therapy outcomes for both teens and adults. Through honest reflection, self-awareness, and tracking DBT skill successes, diary cards empower you to understand where you are, so you and your Suffolk County therapist can help you plan how you’ll reduce your suffering and get to where you want to be in life.
Ready to get started? We welcome you to contact us today.
Frequently Asked Questions about DBT Diary Cards
Are my diary cards confidential?
Your diary cards are considered confidential within the therapy room, but it will be your responsibility to keep track of your diary cards outside of the therapy room (your therapist can help you strategize to protect your privacy outside the therapy room). Your therapist will not share any diary card information with anyone else, unless required by law, because of a clear sign of danger to you or others.
I’m too embarrassed to write down personal details about my thoughts and feelings. Do I have to use diary cards?
We understand how you feel. It can be very emotionally difficult to record your feelings, urges, and behaviors, especially when you’re still struggling with shame. If it feels too hard to use the diary card, you and your therapist will talk through your reasons and figure out ways to help you cope so the diary card eventually feels more approachable.
Remember, the goal isn’t to have the “perfect” diary card. The goal is to understand yourself, recognize your patterns, and empower you to change in ways that make life feel like it’s worth living!