We all have those terrible days that start off difficult and just get worse. When practically every moment of the day feels like a pile-on, where nothing’s going right and everything feels like an urgent, painful disaster. It’s the type of day that makes you resent the idea of looking for silver linings; why bother, when it’s so horrible that it seems to blot out your ability to do or see anything else? When the emotional ovewhelm from your bad day is making it hard to focus on anything around you, DBT mindfulness skills are an excellent option for turning your day around.
Emotional sensitivity makes a hard day harder
Bad days are made even more difficult when you add emotional sensitivity to the mix. The same sensitivity that can make a good day exceptional and beautiful can make the weight of a bad day particularly hard to shake.
DBT mindfulness skills offer extra support to the emotionally sensitive
One of the most helpful dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) interventions for depression, emotional dysregulation, anxiety, and overall emotional sensitivity is mindfulness. Mindfulness is the practice of pulling your focus and attention back to the present moment, away from stewing over the past or worrying about the future.
Mindfulness also encourages you to view any thoughts or emotions that show up in your head without judging them as “good” or “bad”, but simply there. This presence and non-judgment helps you let go of the need to try to “fix” your feelings. When you’re present and ready to just experience, the events of a bad day can’t hit you as hard and will pass you by more quickly. For clients across NYC and Long Island, this shift in perspective is often key to coping.
You’ve probably heard the term “mindfulness practice” before. The “practice” part of that phrase is crucial. Mindfulness isn’t easy, especially on bad days, but it is possible, and it can offer you stability and significant support. DBT mindfulness skills, especially the WHAT DBT skill, can help you practice mindfulness even on the toughest of days.
What can you do to turn a bad day around? Use the WHAT DBT mindfulness skill
In the midst of strong emotional reactions to a difficult day, the WHAT DBT mindfulness skill can turn your day into a totally different one, where you’re more present, engaged, and accepting of your feelings and thoughts for what they are.
Observe
When you’re having a bad day, observing can feel like the last thing you want to do. It’s tempting, and much easier to fall into a reaction to the feelings and thoughts that your bad day brings up. But observation gives you perspective, and perspective can reduce the impact of a bad day.
Observing in the DBT mindfulness WHAT skill means noticing what’s happening around you, and within you, in the moment. Take in what you see and hear, notice how you feel physically, and observe your emotions and thoughts. Try not to judge or assign value to anything happening in the moment. None of this is good or bad, it’s just happening. Let things show up, and move on, without trying to avoid tough emotions or cling to thoughts or feelings that you enjoy.
Describe
You might be thinking, “Why would I want to describe this moment to myself? Today has been terrible, and I’m having all kinds of embarrassing thoughts and feelings. I want to think of anything else.”
By describing to yourself only the facts of the situation, you offer yourself clarity. Right now is all you have to pay attention to. As you label your feelings, recognize your thoughts, and describe to yourself what’s happening around you. As you focus on the present moment, allow worry, fear, shame, and self-judgment to fade into the background.
Keep in mind, the skill is called WHAT for a reason; your goal is describing what is happening, not looking for a “why”. Don’t jump to conclusions; what’s happening is a fact, that you’re having feelings and thoughts is a fact, but you may not have the whole picture about why it’s happening or what’s next. It’s important to recognize that feeling afraid doesn’t mean there’s danger, and feeling sad and alone doesn’t mean you’re worthless.
Participate
You’re observing what’s happening, and you’re more focused on the now. What’s next? Instead of letting the bad start and bad middle of your day dictate how the day ends, you can participate.
Rather than stewing on all the terrible things that have happened today, the participate part of the WHAT DBT mindfulness skill urges you to fully engage your mind and body in the activity right in front of you. When you notice your attention drifting toward rumination or focus on anything but the present moment, remind yourself (with kindness) that it’s time to stay engaged with what you’re doing here, and now.
Remember, it’s hard work to change your mindset
WHAT isn’t an easy skill to use, especially at first. Emotionally sensitive people often go from emotion or thought to reaction or judgment quickly, and it can be hard to pull yourself back from attaching to thoughts and feelings instead of letting them come and go. You’ve probably spent a lot of time looking for “why” in past situations, and WHAT asks you to let go of that.
Participating in life when you’re distracted by tough feelings isn’t easy! It’s a process you’ll have to work at, again and again. If you do find it hard to just observe, describe, and participate, know that it’s nothing to be ashamed of; it’s hard for everyone! Try again, without self-judgment or shame, when you notice your mind moving into old, reactive patterns.
The WHAT DBT Mindfulness skill is just one of many DBT interventions for depression
DBT skills add stability to each day, no matter what happens. A comprehensive DBT program for depression provides both individual and group therapy, incorporating DBT mindfulness skills as well as skills in emotional regulation, distress tolerance, and interpersonal effectiveness to help you make it through even the hardest days with less stress, more peace, and an overall sense that you know what to do to make it through the day.
At Suffolk DBT, we help people every day from all over Suffolk County, Nassau County, and NYC to make use of the WHAT DBT mindfulness skill, along with a wide variety of other DBT skills, to change how they handle the hard days life throws their way. If you’re ready to participate more fully in your life, even on a bad day, we’re here to help.
At Suffolk DBT, we equip clients with practical skills—like the WHAT DBT mindfulness skill—that reduce emotional overwhelm and help turn hard days around. Our team offers comprehensive DBT therapy, including support for depression, anxiety, and emotional dysregulation. We serve clients from Long Island, Nassau County, Suffolk County, and have a location in downtown Manhattan. Learn how we can support you with individual therapy and DBT skills training.