BPD warriors, it’s time to channel your inner superhero and take charge of those overwhelming emotions. Self-soothing is one of the most effective DBT coping skills for managing overwhelming emotions and reducing distress. This article will provide you with the strategies you need to navigate the highs and lows of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) like a pro. While collaborating with a therapist is essential, having some Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) self-soothing techniques for adults can transform your experience. Consider these tools as critical additions to your emotional first-aid kit. We’ll explore how to create a cozy sensory space, master techniques like ACCEPTS, TIPP, and STOP, and learn to IMPROVE your state of mind to become your own emotional champion with the use of DBT!
Understanding Borderline Personality Disorder and the Need for Self-Soothing Techniques
Living with BPD can be challenging due to unpredictable mood swings, ongoing tension, fear of abandonment, and difficulties in regulating emotions. Learning how to cope by using Dialectical Behavior Therapy strategies for BPD often involves using self-soothing strategies . These skills for BPD symptom management, which can help regulate mood swings and improve overall well-being, positively impacting relationships and daily life.
Why Self-Soothing Matters
Self-soothing can help you regain your emotional balance during an overwhelming moment. The more you practice these DBT skills, the more confident you will become in dealing with life’s ups and downs, nourishing your sense of control and resiliency.
Creating a Self-Soothing Toolkit to Manage BPD Symptoms
Self-soothing toolkits can be a powerful tool for managing BPD symptoms. This personalized collection of essentials can be your go-to resource to help you navigate intense emotional experiences in the future. Customize your kit to reflect what resonates most with you. Experiment with different items and keep the ones that help you feel the most grounded. As you become more comfortable with self-soothing tecjniques, you may find specific objects or activities particularly effective in restoring your emotional balance.
Essential Items for Your Kit
A well-rounded toolbox will engage all of your five senses. We suggest physically compiling these items into one easily accessible place so you can have them close whenever the need arises. Consider incorporating a combination of the following items:
- A soft, cuddly blanket or a cherished plush toy
- Scented candles, lotion, and essential oils for aromatherapy
- Sensory tools like stress balls, kinetic sand, or fidget toys
- Noise-canceling headphones and your go-to calming music playlist
- A journal for writing and an adult coloring book, along with some of your favorite-colored pens and pencils
- Hand-written affirmations and uplifting messages on note cards
- Pictures of loved ones, happy memories, relaxing environments, or inspiring magazine clippings
Using DBT Self Soothing Techniques to Manage BPD Symptoms
Once you have compiled the items for your self-soothing toolkit, consider adding several techniques: TIPP, STOP, IMPROVE, and ACCEPTS. These DBT techniques offer a structured and valuable way to deal with overwhelming feelings and can help you learn to cope better with strong emotions.
TIPP Skill
Tip the Temperature: Quickly cool off your body by dunking your face in cold water for a few seconds or applying ice to your cheeks and forehead.
Intense Exercise: Channel your internal tension into running, weightlifting, boxing, or some other activity that requires physical effort as a proactive release.
Paced Breathing: Regulate your breathing by inhaling and exhaling slowly over a few seconds. Focus on how maintaining this rhythm helps soothe yourself.
Paired Muscle Relaxation: Gradually tense and release your muscles, starting from your forehead and working your way down to your toes. Pay close attention to the sensations you feel as you transition from tension to relaxation.
STOP Skill
Stop: If someone says something that makes you uneasy, take a moment before responding to collect yourself and regain your composure.
Take a Step Back Your Impulses: Physically remove yourself from the situation by leaving the room or mentally detaching yourself from the conversation to gain a broader perspective and think through your next steps instead of immediately reacting.
Observe: Step back and check in with yourself. Notice your emotions and surroundings without jumping to conclusions. Raise your awareness of what’s happening, remaining non-judgmental.
Proceed Mindfully: When you feel calmer, reflect on your goals and make a more thoughtful decision regarding how to move forward.
IMPROVE Skill
Imagery: Visualize a tranquil place, like a peaceful beach or a familiar and comforting room. Pay attention to the details you pick up with your senses and create a vivid mental sanctuary.
Meaning: Seek purpose and reshape your perspective in challenging situations. Focus on what you can learn from these experiences.
Prayer: Turn to a higher power or connect with your “Wise Mind” to discover strength and serenity.
Relaxing Actions: To calm your body and mind, exercise, take a warm bath, practice yoga, or do deep breathing exercises.
One Thing in the Moment: Concentrate entirely on your current activity—eating, cleaning, or walking.
Vacation: Take small and frequent breaks, either mentally or physically. Go for a nature walk, switch your phone off, meditate, or wind down in your bed.
Encouragement: Give your inner self a round of applause with affirmations, reminding yourself, “I can manage this,” “I am going to be okay,” or “These feelings are temporary; they will pass.
ACCEPTS Skill
Activities: Distract yourself by immersing yourself in enjoyable activities, such as watching a show or favorite movie or socializing with friends.
Contributing: Provide support to others—volunteer, lend a hand to a friend, or perform a kind act. Shifting your focus away from your own challenges, even temporarily, can offer relief.
Comparisons: Think about how you currently feel compared to a similar past situation. Reflecting on your circumstances relative to others can bring clarity.
Emotions: Feel what you are going through with the help of movies, books, or music that allow you to work out your feelings safely and indirectly.
Pushing Away: Put your issues aside and distract yourself; give yourself time before you try to face them again.
Thoughts: Learn to shift your focus by counting or reciting the words of your favorite songs to help you get out of your negative thoughts.
Sensations: Ground yourself through physical sensations-squeeze a stress ball, take a hot or cold shower, or listen to loud music to bring your attention back to the present.
Additional Self-Soothing Strategies for Adults with BPD
Managing BPD symptoms can be challenging, but there are several additional self-soothing techniques for adults that can complement your DBT therapy. As borderline personality disorder experts, we recommend exploring these strategies to enhance your coping skills.
Grounding In Nature
When life becomes overwhelming, turning to nature can be an excellent way to regulate your mood because nature naturally connects your mind and body to the present moment. Grounding with nature can be as simple as spending several minutes outside or adding it to your weekly schedule. Find a quiet place in your neighborhood or nearby park and go whenever necessary.
How to Cope with BPD Through Nature:
- Touch: Gently run your fingers through the grass, over the bark of a tree, or along some flower petals. Focus on the soft, rough, smooth, or prickly textures and how they feel against your skin.
- Sight: Go for a relaxing stroll in a park, garden, or trail and mindfully take your surroundings. Think about the colors, shapes, and patterns around you. Observe how the sunlight filters through the trees and how the shadows of the leaves move across the ground.
- Sound: Close your eyes and listen to the sounds of nature, whether it’s the rustle of leaves, birds chirping, or a stream’s gentle flow. If you can’t go outside, you can also use apps or videos with nature sounds (close your eyes to get the most out of this experience, too!).
- Smell: Take a deep breath and take in the natural scents around you—the smell of freshly cut grass, blooming flowers, or the earth after it rains. Pay attention to how these scents make you feel and whether they contribute to your sense of grounding.
- Movement: Walking barefoot on grass or sand can help you feel connected to the earth. As you walk, focus on the sensation of each step and the rhythm of your movement.
Practice Mindful Movement
Do a gentle, mindful exercise such as tai chi or yoga that links your body’s movement with your breath to keep you present and centered. Reflect on what kinds of movement help you feel most calm, and slowly add those into your self-soothing repertoire.
Explore Expressive Arts
Creative activities can be a powerful way to process emotions, especially for individuals with BPD. Art offers the perfect opportunity to let go and fully immerse yourself in the creative process. You can try painting, drawing, sculpting, or any other form of art that interests you. Use your hands, tap into your senses, and, most importantly, have fun!
Learn from a DBT Specialist in New York
As you journey forward, remember that progress is not always a straight line, and setbacks are a natural part of growth. Embrace every step, no matter how small, and be kind to yourself during challenging moments. With perseverance and support from loved ones, you can overcome challenges and achieve the peace and emotional well-being you deserve. You are capable, resilient, and worthy of a fulfilling life. Keep moving forward and believe in the positive changes that lie ahead. At Suffolk DBT, our borderline personality disorder experts are ready to help you harness the power of these strategies – TIPP, STOP, IMPROVE, and ACCEPTS – and apply them in the most helpful ways. Call us today for a free 15-minute consultation!



