Sometimes, the skill of mindfulness seems like something that only a Zen master living on a remote mountain hilltop could ever successfully achieve. It can be so challenging in a world where your attention is pulled in many directions at once, making it feel almost impossible. This mindset gives off a false image that mindfulness in unachievable—but it is.
How can you use mindfulness exercises in your everyday life?
The dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT) skill of mindfulness can be used by anybody, any day, at any time. Even when you’re busy. Even when you’re upset.
However, even if you know some mindfulness skills, it can be hard to know how to use them, especially in tough moments.
The trick is being willing to practice these techniques and to incorporate them into your everyday life.
Focus on One Mindfulness Skill at a Time
First, it helps to keep things simple. There are many mindfulness skills that you can use—deep breathing techniques, meditation, body scanning, etc. However, trying to do all of these at once is overwhelming.
It’s challenging to master one DBT skill, and you’ll make things much harder for yourself if you try to tackle all of them at the same time. Instead, it helps to choose only one skill to work on.
For example, breathing techniques are an excellent place to start. We all breathe, so paying attention to your breathing, directing it, and using slow, paced breathing to center yourself in the here and now is something we can all understand. Once you feel that you have gained a certain level of competency at a particular skill, move on to the next one. That is how you begin to master DBT skills training.
This approach might seem like a slow process, and if you’re rushing things, it is. However, developing DBT mindfulness skills shouldn’t be a rushed process; it’s a lifelong journey that you don’t need to rush.
Use the Skill of Mindfulness on Your Commute
Wait, mindfulness on your commute, really?! Who wants to be paying attention to their commute?
Again, this approach shatters old myths about what mindfulness ought to be. Often, people think of mindfulness as something you do in a retreat, in a quiet moment, or for an extended period of time.
However, DBT mindfulness skills are most useful during your everyday life. And who hasn’t spent hours in a traffic jam or been stuck in a stuffed train? These are the moments when mindfulness can help you stay present, focused, and calm.
For example, let’s say you’re stuck in traffic. On the one hand, you could feel frustrated about being trapped in your car on the freeway, going nowhere. Your mind starts spinning, and now you’re even more stressed.
Instead, you could start doing a deep breathing exercise. Suddenly, sitting in your car, listening to music or talk radio, isn’t so distressing. You’re here, now, breathing, and that’s all you have to think about. Soon you feel less stressed and more capable of handling the situation.
Try Mindfulness at Work
The workplace is also where you spend a lot of your time. Yet, it can also be an opportunity for practicing mindfulness, including:
- Staying present while in the elevator
- Doing a walking meditation during lunch to get out of the office and outdoors
- Practicing breathing exercises during a meeting
- Keeping your favorite affirmation or quote at your desk
- Pausing for a moment to express gratitude towards yourself
- Take a quick break between tasks to do a body scan
The other great thing about a mindfulness practice is that you don’t need a lot of time to do it. Just a quick mindfulness break will benefit you tremendously.
Stay Mindful at Home
The home should be a place of sanctuary. It ought to be where you can relax, unwind, and feel the least stressed. But that isn’t always the case in the modern home.
Instead, there are kids to nurture, meals to cook, bills to pay, and the ever-present intrusion of screens and technology. Consider these ideas for implementing mindfulness at home:
- Carve out space in your home that’s just for you; even it’s a corner of a room. Have some cushions, a scented candle, or other materials to help you with your practice.
- Wake up a little earlier than everyone else and enjoy the quiet solitude.
- Get outside. Even if you are in the suburbs or the big city, you can find nature in even the most developed places.
- Have a no-screen time and also a no-screen zone in your home where phones and other devices are not allowed.
The DBT mindfulness skills are all about developing a healthy lifestyle that helps you stay centered and balanced. Even when life tries to tip you over, with mindfulness and dialectical behavioral therapy, you can recover quickly.
How Does Radical Acceptance in DBT Reduce Suffering Through Mindfulness?
Radical acceptance involves fully accepting a situation, emotion, or circumstance without judgment, avoidance, or attempts to change it. It is about acknowledging reality as it is, rather than how we wish it would be. In DBT, radical acceptance is often used to help individuals cope with painful or difficult emotions, experiences, and relationships. By accepting what cannot be changed, individuals can focus their energy on making positive changes in other areas of their lives. This can lead to greater emotional stability, better relationships, and increased overall well-being.
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Please contact me today to learn more about how to improve your life with mindfulness or visit my page about dialectical behavioral therapy.
Frequently Asked Questions about Mindfulness
Is mindfulness just meditation?
No! Meditation is a great mindfulness practice, but doesn’t work for everyone. Thankfully, mindfulness is broader than meditation, with many options to suit anyone. It is, in its essence, being present in the moment, directing your attention to what’s happening within you, and around you, right now.
How does mindfulness fit into DBT?
Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) has four main pillars of focus, including mindfulness, emotional regulation, distress tolerance, and interpersonal effectiveness. Mindfulness, or the willingness to be present, accepting, and non-judgmental in the moment, is very helpful for supporting your well-being, and it is also foundational to many other DBT skills. Being present, non-judgmental, and willing is key to accepting and understanding your emotions, making it through distressing situations, and choosing effectiveness as your first priority in interpersonal interactions.
Suffolk DBT proudly provides quality dialectical behavior therapy, a form of cognitive behavioral therapy, at their offices in Manhattan and Long Island, New York and online. Their experienced therapists specialize in serving teens, children, adults, and college students struggling with depression, borderline personality disorder, eating disorders, and self-harm. Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) skills and treatment can help you or your kids to manage emotions and work through life’s challenges. Suffolk DBT Manhattan and Long Island offer a free screening call so you can get started right away.