How can parents help their teens set measurable goals?
Setting goals isn’t just for adults. Teens also have things that they want to accomplish, although they may not frame those thoughts in the same way as an adult might.
Still, it creates a perfect time to coach your teen on setting measurable goals. After all, goal-setting is a valuable life skill. Plus, if they learn to master it now, this skill will serve them well as adults.
Understanding Measurable Goals
First, it’s helpful to take a step back to consider what a measurable goal is.
A measurable goal is one you can assess by specific standards. You can tell how much progress you’re making, you can clearly define what steps you need to take, and you will clearly be able to tell when you’ve accomplished your goal.
For instance, your teen is most likely very familiar with rubrics from school. Teachers use them all the time when providing assignments, especially big projects, to their students. What makes rubrics so useful is that they provide standards. These standards explain how the student either succeeds with the project, or doesn’t pass.
For example, a teacher might say that, as part of the process to get an A, students must address five key topics in a specific paper. Students who get a B discussed only four items, a C for three items, etc. Success in writing the paper is measureable by key topics covered.
How Can Your Teen Create Measurable Goals?
Now it’s time to discuss with your teen creating measurable goals. To do this, they need to have an idea of what they want to accomplish. This idea can be somewhat general, too. It should be something that they are motivated to do.
For example, maybe they want to get better playing the guitar. That’s great! But what, exactly, does “better” look like? The word implies that when they play the instrument, they:
- Have more confidence
- Can play the instrument with less effort than a beginner
- Perform smoothly
- Create unique chord structures
- Make few or no mistakes
These make sense, as they demonstrate improvement from their current playing skills. So, when forming a measurable goal, teens need to know their current level of performance and understand what they want the result to be.
Setting Benchmarks for Success
Let’s say that the result, demonstrating success, is that your teen can play a particular song. They can use the criteria above to guide them on how to get to their goal, so they’ve figured out a goal that can have measurable results.
The next step is to help your teen break down that big goal into smaller benchmarks for success, so they can actually measure their progress. These benchmarks can be two different categories:
- Skill progression: learning the chords, strumming, notes, etc.
- Calendar: Having the “X” skill mastered by the “Y” date.
This approach allows your teen to set a progression towards mastery of the song in a way that works for them. They set a goal to learn lyrics by a specific date and the chords by another time. Then, put all the pieces together by a third date.
Benchmarks make it possible to reduce a broad goal into more manageable pieces.
Progress Isn’t Linear: Teach Your Teen To Reassess When Necessary
Of course, when it comes to setting goals, everyone can get a little ambitious. The same will undoubtedly be true of your teen. If they have trouble reaching their benchmarks, don’t consider that a failure by any means.
Instead, not meeting a benchmark is a cue to reassess the goals and understand the issue preventing your teen from meeting them. Maybe they underestimated how much time they would need to master a skill. Or, they could use the support of a guitar teacher to explain specific concepts.
Teen Counseling for Setting Goals
Could your teen use some professional support in the form of teen counseling? They might get down on themselves when struggling to meet their goal, or could use extra support with formulating what that goal should be.
A therapist can help them with this process, and you can follow through at home, setting your teen up for success.
Setting measurable goals is a vital life skill. Parents can be an excellent resource for helping their teens master goal-setting, but you don’t have to do it alone. Both parents and teens benefit significantly from the help of a therapist.
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Please contact our office today if your teen is struggling with their goals. Or, you can visit our page on teen counseling to learn more about how we can help.
Frequently Asked Questions About Teen Therapy
How is DBT-A designed to help teens specifically?
DBT-A incorporates the same crucial DBT skills that adults learn, as well as the same individual therapy and on-call therapist support that adults receive, with the addition of a few features that specifically support teens.
Teens need the support of their parents, so DBT support groups for teens include parental participation. You’ll learn DBT skills alongside your teen, so you support your teen’s therapy progress by making use of DBT skills in your everyday lives.
Additionally, DBT-A incorporates “walking the middle path”, or an emphasis on dialectical thinking, to help teens break out of all-or-nothing mindsets that are common for their age and development. If your teen can develop their ability to understand that the truth of all matters often lies somewhere in the middle, they will have an easier time making effective, safe, and satisfying life choices.
How will DBT therapy help my teen set goals?
Your teen will have the chance to work with an individual therapist to clarify goals, and can practice skills that will help them accomplish their goals, both in individual therapy, and with peers (and parents) in DBT skills groups. By focusing on mindfulness, interpersonal effectiveness, distress tolerance, and emotional regulation, your teen can make choices that will support their goals.
Suffolk DBT proudly provides quality dialectical behavior therapy, a form of cognitive behavioral therapy, at their offices in Manhattan and Long Island, New York and online. Their experienced therapists specialize in serving teens, children, adults, and college students struggling with depression, borderline personality disorder, eating disorders, and self-harm. Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) skills and treatment can help you or your kids to manage emotions and work through life’s challenges. Suffolk DBT Manhattan and Long Island offer a free screening call so you can get started right away.