If you’re like mo
st parents, your day has been busy, full of the usual distractions. You’ve made it home from work, grabbed the kids from school, and are thinking about work, dinner, that soccer game this weekend, and eleven other things.
However, you’ve been worried lately that your child doesn’t seem like their typical, happy-go-lucky self. One red flag is the stomachaches that come on suddenly, and for no apparent reason. They might beg and plead for you not to make them go to school or a social event, or are suddenly upset when you have to head to work. To make matters worse, last night, there was that flash of anger at bedtime that caught you by surprise. You’re left wondering, could these be anxiety symptoms?
Take heart, concerned parent; there’s more than meets the eye when it comes to these examples, but it’s not a challenge you, or your child, have to face alone. It may be that your child has anxiety. The symptoms can be subtle, and children aren’t always able to communicate what they’re going through.
We’ve worked with many Suffolk county parents who are concerned about their child, and we want to share seven anxiety symptoms that parents might miss.
7 Hidden Anxiety Symptoms in Children
1. Unexplained Stomachaches
One way that anxiety manifests itself, regardless of age, is through physical symptoms like aches, pains, and digestive troubles.
For example, adults often complain of piercing headaches that are caused by anxiety. With children, having a stomachache is a common anxiety symptom. If your child says they have stomachaches a lot, and you’ve ruled out other possible causes, then it might be because they are feeling anxious.
2. They Get Emotional Quickly
Has your child been experiencing mood swings? That’s another anxiety symptom to keep an eye on. One minute your child might be happy and content, but almost instantly, they switch to inconsolable sadness. Why?
When children struggle with anxiety, other things that might typically be easy for them to ignore become an annoyance or inconvenience that triggers a much stronger reaction.
3. Begging You Not to Leave
Being excessively clingy is also something to watch out for. Clinginess, or separation anxiety, is the term to describe when your child is afraid of either you leaving them or them leaving you.
Take going to school, for example. Of course, there are always going to be those first-day jitters that can feel overwhelming. But what if your child is refusing to go to school day after day? If that’s the case, then there may be more going on than you realize.
4. Not Being Able to Stay on Task
This symptom is a tricky one because a lack of focus can also be attributed to other conditions, such as ADHD.
However, a lack of focus is undoubtedly an issue when it comes to anxiety. The brain deals with so much information, thoughts, and feelings because of hypervigilance and racing thoughts that your child struggles to maintain their attention on anything else.
5. Wanting to Be Reassured All the Time is an Anxiety Symptom
Needing more reassurance is sign can easily be confused with lacking confidence or not having any self-esteem. You might believe that your child merely needs to “get over it” and move on.
However, seeking reassurance is less about confidence and more about soothing worry and anxiety. They might ask you over and over if they will do well on a test. Yet, you know they have studied and are ready.
This reassurance-seeking is your child trying to calm the anxious thoughts that they are experiencing.
6. Sleeping Issues
If you notice that your child can’t fall asleep or stay asleep, watch out. This issue is common for kids with anxiety. They have so much worry and fear that those thoughts and emotions prevent them from falling asleep. It might be well after midnight before they can nod off.
Lack of sleep for children can have serious negative impacts on school performance, ability to participate in family life, and can also make it harder for them to regulate their mood, worsening their anxiety.
7. Anger As An Anxiety Symptom
It’s not easy to see your child get angry or express that anger. Anger can bring up emotions for you, too, such as fear. However, if your child gets angry a lot, try to look past the surface and go deeper. Ask yourself why they are getting mad in the first place.
Anger is often a cover for much more basic emotions such as fear, sadness, or worry. It’s hard for children to express those emotions productively, so they lash out in anger.
Suffolk DBT Can Help Your Child, and You, Manage Their Anxiety Symptoms
Suffolk DBT proudly provides quality dialectical behavior therapy, a form of cognitive behavioral therapy, at their offices in Manhattan and Long Island, New York and online. Their experienced therapists specialize in serving teens, children, adults, and college students struggling with depression, borderline personality disorder, eating disorders, and self-harm. Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) skills and treatment can help you or your kids to manage emotions and work through life’s challenges. Suffolk DBT Manhattan and Long Island offer a free screening call so you can get started right away.
Frequently Asked Questions About Anxiety in Children
Anxious moments pass for many children, but for some, anxiety is ovewhelming, harder to manage, and longer-lasting.
For these children, it’s not just a phase. That anxiety is usually a product of a blend of biology, disposition, and life experiences.
For children who are dealing with anxiety disorders, the longer they go without meaningful support, the greater an impact their anxiety will have on their lives. Asking for support now can make it easier for your child, throughout their lives, to manage their emotions and live life on their own terms.
As a parent, you have a choice. You can use your time at home, and in school while working with your child’s teachers and support system, to try to manage their anxiety.
Or, you can ask for expert support and work with a therapist, taking the time to learn life skills with DBT that will help you and your child to manage anxiety, lifelong.
Either way, you’ll spend time on managing your child’s anxiety. With added support from Suffolk DBT, you’ll have access to more information, guidance, and validation than by trying to manage on your own, and with practice and time, your child will be able to manage their anxieties on their own, making life feel more like it’s worth living for all of you.
Dialectical Behavior Therapy for Children (DBT-C) at Suffolk DBT of Long Island is a compassionate, evidence-based program for kids ages 7–12 who experience the world more intensely and have difficulty managing their reactions.
DBT-C gently teaches children how to understand their big emotions, learn practical coping skills to calm down when upset, and kids learn to respond in ways that build confidence. We also focus on supporting caregivers in creating a more stable, validating, and connected home environment.
DBT for children helps you incoprorate healthy coping skills into your family life, supporting your child (and you) in managing your child’s anxiety.
DBT-C includes:
- Parent Management Training
- DBT skills practice
- Individual therapy sessions