You’re at work busy on a project. Then your boss comes over to your work area. They offer a couple of pieces of feedback for what you’re working on. Just a few tweaks, they say.
From their perspective, they are making some minor observations that will help your project be even better.
From your perspective, even though you can put up a fake smile, inside you’re panicking and you get overwhelmed really quickly. This happens to you all the time, and it’s so stressful!
It’s as if you can’t help yourself, that even minor interactions become totally overwhelming. You might even feel like you’re the problem. But you are not! The problem may be that you’re an emotionally sensitive person, and you haven’t learned how to navigate the world in a supportive way. That’s where dialectical behavior therapy can help. Taking part in a comprehensive DBT program at Suffolk DBT can make these situations much easier to handle.
Here’s how.
What It Means To Be Emotionally Sensitive
An emotionally sensitive person, also known as highly sensitive person or a super sensor, is a term used to describe people who have a greater reaction to what they experience both in their environment, as well as what they experience internally. For example:
- Loud noises, lights that are too bright, and other issues related to the five senses.
- Violence or scary situations.
- Anger, sadness, joy, fear, excitement.
- Any type of criticism or perceived slight.
- Complicated conversations.
- Changes in what you expect to happen.
As you can see, it’s not all negative. Emotionally sensitive people also have a strong response to things that are positive. This includes when you watch a romance movie, view art, listen to moving music, enjoy time with friends, or spend time outdoors.
However, there really isn’t a balance if an emotionally sensitive person can enjoy a wonderful song, but then be able to hear feedback from someone else.
If this sounds like you, DBT can help you find that balance.
1. Learning Distress Tolerance Skills
One way DBT can help you with emotional sensitivity is through distress tolerance skills. Feedback or other similarly perceived negative experiences can be tough to deal with, even if, in the big picture, are not as serious as you would think. They still cause you to experience distress, hence why distress tolerance skills can be so useful.
By pausing, taking a breath, and making use of a distress tolerance skill during a moment of emotional overwhelm, you can mange your emotional sensitivity without trying to shut yourself down or pretend everything is fine.
Examples of distress tolerance skills include:
- Weighing both sides of a situation.
- Accepting the situation for what it is and embracing it.
- Distracting yourself from what is occurring to get through the strong emotion.
- Using self-soothing techniques such as breathing exercises.
2. Emotional Regulation Skills for Highly Sensitive People
Another way in which DBT is helpful for highly sensitive people is by learning emotional regulation skills. These skills will help you identify why you feel so overwhelmed when you get feedback or are in a situation that you perceive to be negative. This helps you to move past simply feeling “bad” and to address the specific emotion that you are experiencing.
That way you know which direction to go, instead of feeling stuck and overwhelmed in the moment. For instance, if you receive feedback, even minor feedback, you might feel overwhelmed, then frustrated with yourself, so you’re unable to move forward. With self-understanding from DBT, you can understand that you are highly sensitive to rejection, which is how you perceive the feedback. For you, this is a normal response. You don’t need to change the fact that you respond this way, all you need to do is use your DBT skills to manage it.
You’ll also lean into emotional regulation through practical self-care that makes it easier to better manage emotions. These include:
- Getting enough sleep.
- Avoiding using alcohol or drugs to cope with your emotions.
- Exercising regularly.
- Making better food choices.
3. Finding a Middle Way
Another problem that emotionally sensitive people struggle with is that they have these big responses to what they perceive as all positive or all negative. It’s either everything is great, or what they are facing is overwhelming. There isn’t a middle ground.
DBT can help you be more comfortable on the middle ground, which helps you to avoid these wide pendulum swings one way or another. For instance, walking the middle path can look like saying to yourself: “I don’t like getting feedback, but I know right now my supervisor is trying to help me.”
This kind of thinking takes practice (ever heard the term “mindfulness practice”?), but every time you reach for a balanced thought, it gets easier, and it makes it easier to handle emotional sensitivity too.
DBT is a great way for emotionally sensitive people to overcome distress with perceived negativity. DBT for kids can also help families with super sensor children.
The best way to get the most out of DBT is by working with a therapist trained in the technique. Reach out today to learn more about how DBT for depression and anxiety treatment can help.
Suffolk DBT proudly provides quality dialectical behavior therapy, a form of cognitive behavioral therapy, at their offices in Manhattan and Long Island, New York and online. Their experienced therapists specialize in serving teens, children, adults, and college students struggling with depression, borderline personality disorder, eating disorders, and self-harm. Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) skills and treatment can help you or your kids to manage emotions and work through life’s challenges. Suffolk DBT Manhattan and Long Island offer a free screening call so you can get started right away.
Frequently Asked Questions about Emotionally Sensitive People
No! Far from being imaginary, the overwhelm of emotional sensitivity is real, and harder on the sensitive person than it is on the people around them.
High sensitivity is a term used to describe those who are high in “sensory-processing sensitivity.” This means a person’s personality traits leave them more sensitive to emotions and to physical sensations.
A highly sensitive person might feel more disturbed by tense situations, violence, or overwhelming sensations. They may also tend to be more creative and have rich inner lives. This makes them more open to forming deep bonds with others and take pleasure in human connection.
Read more here about emotionally sensitive people.
DBT is not just for adults! For children who don’t filter out as much of their surroundings as less sensitive children, DBT can provide helpful life skills to manage what can feel tremendously overwhelming to your child.
By helping kids to slow down, adapt, and manage overstimulation, they can move away from disruptive or difficult behavior.
Want to learn more? Read about DBT for children here.